No regrets…and how to be significant
I don’t usually wear my sunglasses inside but I was crying in my car before I stepped into the grocery store to grab some things for dinner. I had held it in as long as I could before the dam finally broke.
Because I was at the pool with my kids when a message popped on to my phone—a former colleague had passed away last week, after a year-long battle with cancer. I never knew she was sick. I checked my Instagram messages from her and her profile because I couldn’t believe it. She had posted something in July but nothing for the last week. It was true.
We weren’t close but we always made sure to keep in touch and wish each other a happy birthday—we share the same day. She was so sweet, and so young. Fatima.
When we worked together, we were both part-time. I was consulting and she was the intern. I had 3 kids and was past the point of wanting to make new friends. I was impatient to get the job done and get home. She was new, and wanting to learn and impress. She was so gentle and kind I couldn’t be anything less than polite, but I could have been so much more.
I don’t carry a lot of regret. I’ve made a ton of mistakes in my life but I know they were all building blocks to being the best version of myself that I’m still working to become.
But this, this one hit me hard.
The reason I’m sharing this with you is because the thing I regret most is not asking about her story—who was she, really? Where did she come from? Where did she want to go in her life? How could I help her get there? She was this huge open book just waiting for me to ask, to care, and I couldn’t be bothered.
I’m not the same person today, but I still have my moments—in the checkout line, racing between point A and point B, when really, that’s all there is. This whole thing called life is just one big space between point A and point B.
Funny enough, on my walk this morning, listening to the Purpose Driven Life, Rick Warren was telling us again, “God never wastes a hurt.”
He was talking about our lives, our life stories, the heartbreaks and the lessons—and urging us to go share it. It’s not for nothing. It’s to give away.
Your story is not just your story. Give it away.
Cat xo
I had the great pleasure of being on Matt Rogers and Beth Cook’s Be Significant podcast, in which they interview the best and brightest in the worlds of education, business, sports and more about leadership, life transitions, finding your authentic self and how to be significant in your personal and professional life every day.
In this interview, we talk about the craft of writing, passion projects…and what I would tell my 21-year-old self.
Listen to our conversation here.
PS: In the interview, I shared about the role communities and teams have played in my journey and transformation. I love how Beth sums our talk up in her post-interview wrap-up, where she encourages listeners to create their own board of directors. “Don’t forget to lean on those people when you need encouragement, ideas, or to be challenged—those are the folks who are going to continue to bring you forward and challenge you to do what you’ve always wanted to do and be your best. Don’t forget to leverage your community.” If you’re looking for one, you know where to find me 😉